Mad like a Moron

Have you ever noticed what happens to you when you get upset? If you're like me you have a tendency to get a little riled up in a very short period of time. I'm an all in kind of guy. There are many benefits to that type of attitude but there are drawbacks as well. Such as...I can flip a switch in a heartbeat...faster than you can blink. Something silly happened just now and for some reason I got a little riled up. It was so trivial, so small, so the only thing I could think about for 5 minutes.

You know one of the things that happens when I get mad that I absolutely hate? It uncovers so many ugly things. I mean ugly. For some reason when I get mad some really nasty things surface in my life. I'm beginning to think it is the Lord taking the opportunity to prove a point, to be a caring and concerned father for a minute. Man, some really ugly things came out of me. Nothing out loud. Just in my head...which is the worst kind. I can pretend they're not there but when something upsets me I am immediately reminded that they have been there all along.

I started thinking how I make more money than so and so and I'm this and I'm that. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I am embarrassed to even admit that this happens and even more so am grateful that the Lord doesn't take everything away from me when I think stupid thoughts like that. I'll tell you one thing, I'll never have any more authority than I do now if I don't learn to be vulnerable and humble and submissive and secure. The Lord reminds me of that.

The great thing about being created to communicate is that I get a chance to share what the Lord has given me by using my mouth. The sad thing about the gift of communication is that it can turn to a deadly weapon in a moment. Ugly. Nasty. As Tyler would say, "Yukky"! It's sad that out of my own insecurity I think about using the gift God has given me to harm and not honor. Grateful he doesn't take it away when I drop the ball.

Everything I have is a gift from the Lord. I came into this world with nothing and I will leave with nothing. Everything he has gifted me to do is because of Him not me or my ability. At my best I am a moron. At my worst I am nothing.

Surprisingly enough I am grateful for this little learning opportunity. I need these moments. I want to be faithful. I want to grow. I want to make my Father proud. Gonna have to work on this.

I want to be someone who never overestimates himself and never underestimates the people around him.