All Because of a Razor?

Gonna be really vulnerable with this one.

When Rylie left her scooter outside last week I told you that my first response was to teach her a lesson, it was. I don't know why but it's like I think the only way to deal with my kids when they mess up is justice. I don't like this. It is not pretty and it's starting to get old. Holly leans much more towards mercy and grace which is much more attractive (but when out of balance can also be dangerous). I knew Holly wanted to immediately buy her a new scooter to replace the stolen one. I don't understand it but the thought in my mind was "that will teach her (Rylie)". How horrific. How stupid and ignorant and heartless and merciless. What an idiot! That's not my heart...but why was that my response? I don't know. But if I have anything to say about it it is going to change.

It's been less than 7 days and I have not stopped processing the whole situation. My heart is so extravagent towards my children that at times it overtakes common sense and understanding.

Rylie wanted a scooter. I wanted Rylie to have a scooter. That's why I bought the scooter in the first place.

Well, this morning before work I stopped by Walmart and bought her another one and when I get home I will give it to her. That's my heart. I want to bless her. I do not want to penalize her. I want to help her. She has missed her scooter everyday since it was stolen, she knows she made a mistake. So do I root for her to not be blessed even though she learned her lesson and choose not to replace it for her? Don't know what you would do...nor does it matter...but as for me, if I have any say about the matter, I want to deal with my children with mercy and justice. I want them to want to be around me for the rest of their lives. I don't want to be so just that I suck the life out of my relationship with my kids. I need to be more merciful...and it starts with replacing a $28 Razor scooter. Done.

Lord, thank you for protecting me from my own ignorance. Thank you for having a merciful heart and a just hand when you deal with me. I want to parent more like you. I want to have your heart for my kids. I want to love them like you love me. I know I won't always get it right, help me to do the best I possibly can. Help me to lean towards the razor but not fear the rod. Give me balance. Give me mercy. Show me grace. Amen