On Display

I struggle to write this but there's something I am feeling right now about what I do for a living. I love my job, I love Gateway, I love everything about what I get to do for a living. But...I am having a hard time with communicating so much...it's not that I can't or even that I'm having a hard time coming up with stuff to preach...it's more that it's so open and honest and vulnerable. Think of it this way even though for some it may be a little harsh (you'll get over it, remember this blog isn't for you, it's for me)...

Can you imagine getting up and talking about your marriage every single week in front of several hundred people? Can you imagine talking about the fights in your marriage every week? Can you imagine talking about your sex life in your marriage each and every week? That's what I feel like I do. I reveal the most intimate and honest aspects of my intimate relationship with the Lord.

If you talked about your marriage and your married sex life every week I guarantee that at some point you would get sick of it...sick of being so open...and you would desire it to be private again...that what happens within the context of your marriage stay there. You would want to date and not tell anyone. You would want to work through struggles and not tell anyone. You would want to be intimate and not tell anyone about it. You would want to do all of those things because that's what married people do and because the mere definition of intimacy is with one alone ...YOU WOULD NOT FEEL LIKE SHARING THE INTIMATE DETAILS.

That is where I am right now. I am excited just to walk with the Lord and not tell anyone about what we talk about. I am excited to receive correction and not tell anyone about it. I am excited to be intimate and not tell anyone about it. I just want to do it because that's what He and I love to do...be together and be alone.

I can't wait to get alone.

Finally

Now after a year of doing Seven on Tuesday nights I get a couple of Tuesdays off. We've already been planning the next series for the last couple of weeks so I'm already looking forward to that but it's definitely time for a little break. I love the time around Christmas because it means a lot of time home with Holly and the kids. We play a lot of video games...even Holly. We love the Wii so this time of year becomes dedicated to mindless game playing. Sounds fun huh? Does to me. At this time of year I kind of become a hermit...just a little. I really only want to hang out with my wife and my kids. I'm sure it sounds a little harsh but it's not. It's necessary.

On a completely unrelated note I can already sense the Lord giving me the things I will spend 2008 praying for. Here are a few for a head start...

Local Law Enforcement (I know it's random)
Pastor Robert's tv show
Worship at Seven
Rylie (starts kindergarten)
Holly (too many things to list related to her mom)
My dad's business
Holly's boss and his wife

Anything Else

If you could do anything else besides what you are doing what would you do?

Here are my top three...

Professional hunter. Not in the sense that you are thinking. A ph is a professional guide for hunters. You are paid to guide, track, find, cape, entertain hunters on multi-day hunts. What a cool job. I'd never see my family so you can see why I don't do it for a living but it would be fun.

Press Secretary for the President. I love politics. I've always been fascinated by the politics of politics. But even cooler than politics is being the person who has to answer all of the questions. I've said in the past that if I could sit down for lunch with any political person it would probably be Ari Fleischer. Sitting on the hot seat is fun. This person talks more publicly than the President does about what's going on. What a chance to keep people informed and focused on what's important.

Wal-Mart Cart Passer Outer. Cool job. You get a chance to interact with thousands of people a day and you have an opportunity to bring a smile to their faces. Have no idea why this makes my top three and why I am so obsessed with this job. It's just cool and so are all of the older people who do it. The good ones make you smile and maybe even slow down a little.

Definitely not looking to change my profession any time soon. It is kind of funny to think about what else I would do if I weren't in ministry. I think I'm best suited to stay where I am.

Just imagine though...me standing in front of the white house blue curtain...on tv...with the lower third of White House Press Secretary Preston Morrison.

Love it. Feel sorry for the President that would have made that hire. I'd start more fires than I'd put out.

More Than That

Holly and I went to the staff Christmas party last night. It was the best Christmas party we've had in 7 years of them...except maybe the bingo thing. The best part is always when Robert gets up to talk about the previous year. It's still funny to me that people on our staff think it's funny that they don't get to be around him or get time with him. They truly don't understand and it probably does not put them in a very good light when they try to make statements (jokes) about it publicly and without a doubt it is disrespectful to Pastor Robert. I imagine Pastor Tom probably felt the same way I did. We are here to serve the vision that God has given Pastor Robert not to be his best friend, son, daughter or mentoree. We are here to serve. It is an incredible honor to be a part of what God is doing at Gateway...that get's forgotten sometimes. Anyways I digress.

Holly and I left a little bit early and went to Starbucks to get some hot chocolate and talk. It's so funny how much we have changed, how much our marriage has changed, how much I have changed over the past 7 years. We are so much closer. So much more in love. Much more understanding of one another. We try a lot harder for the sake of the other. We are more amazed today of what God is using us to do than ever before but we also care less than ever before about it. I think I was so interested in what God had "created me to do" that it got in the way of just being us. I really don't care. I won't lose my relationship with my wife or my kids to do anything viewed as successful. So many people around me have difficulty using their vacation time. Not me. Truthfully I'd rather be at home with my wife and kids. I hope that never changes. Some people make you feel guilty because you are not a work-a-holic but that's not God's plan...in fact it is against God's plan. When the church first started Robert set a rule that vacation time does not carry over from one year to another so that we would be forced to use it or lose it. That helped me to set a very healthy foundation for my time with my family. It is non-negotiable. No matter what. Being married to Holly makes me want to rush home and hang out with her. Being Rylie's daddy makes me want to race home and play the Wii High School Musical 2 karaoke game. Being Tyler's father makes me want to go home in time to play ball in the family room and wrestle in my bed and make sloppy smores together. Being Preston's dad makes me want to go home and hold him and kiss him until he cries and then I want to give him to Holly.

My life is more than what I do for a living. I don't ever want to be defined by that. If all people see me as is the Pastor of Seven and Young Adults Pastor at Gateway they are proving they do not know me. I am Holly's husband, Rylie, Tyler and Preston's father, and I am my Father's son.. Those are the roles I am most proud of. That's what I want to be known for.

Working at Gateway is just my job. Passionately pursuing, protecting, and providing for Holly, Rylie, Tyler, and Preston...now that is my life. And what a life it is.

Gifts and Gratitude

We did Christmas this weekend with our kids and I learned one thing...I love watching my kids open gifts. There's one thing that really frustrates me about gift receiving...a weak reception. I don't know why but it has always rubbed me the wrong way when someone opens a gift and looks like they couldn't care less. This is not the case with my kids. They scream. They dance. They don't stop celebrating. It makes me want to buy them more gifts. I love to give gifts. Especially when they are overwhelmingly received. Anything High School Musical 2 for Rylie and anything Cars for Tyler and it's a home run. They are fun to watch. I'm grateful that even at this stage of life they seemed to have learned about gratitude. God loves gratitude. So do I.

Hearing

Went to my parents lakehouse this weekend to have Christmas since we will be in Fresno with Holly's family next week...we had a blast...literally. We did some duck hunting Sat. morning and evening. That night it was around 30 degrees wind chill and I had no hearing protection. Needless to say I has some temporary hearing loss that is just now clearing up. Here are some quick hits about lessons learned from losing hearing in one ear...

When you can't hear:

You can only hear yourself talk.

You cannot clearly understand what others are saying to you.

You quit trying to listen because remember...YOU CAN"T HEAR.

You have a hard time concentrating when others are talking.

Certain sounds hurt your ears (children screaming, Mariah Carey singing, etc)

People begin to think you are in the Secret Service because you are touching your ear so much.

Hearing yourself through a sound system sounds even weirder than normal.

The ringing gets old...REALLY OLD.

Several of these the Lord began to point out during our conversation about how well I am hearing Him. Point taken. It's not that I can't hear, it's just that I'm talking too much.

32

Yesterday was Holly's birthday and as is normal the whole day revolved around her. We had a low key little birthday celebration, just the two of us, with lots of shopping. It's funny how when you are first married you have to have candles and expensive restaurants and all the other trash and after 3 kids all you need is a babysitter. Love it.

I spent yesterday thanking the Lord that 32 years ago he brought my incredible life partner into the world.

After last night and our conversation I spend today thanking God for who Holly has helped me become. Admittedly I am still a work in progress, and so are you, but when I think back to who I was when Holly and I first started dating and in the first several years of our marriage, I get sick to my stomach. I was an absolute idiot. Insecure. Arrogant. Manipulative. Overbearing. Mean. Stupid. Irresponsible.

I know it is the Lord that does the work but for me it was Holly that he used to do it more than anyone over the past 10 years.

Babe I love you more than life itself. I would lay my life down for you without hesitation. There is no one on this planet that I would rather be in love with than you. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, get for you, or give up for you. More than any other possession, position or person, you are the reason I wake up every morning and thank God that I am me. At my worst, at my lowest, at my most afraid you are what keeps me in the race. I had no idea when I met you that I would spend the rest of my life unwrapping the gift that God gave me in you. It has been better than I ever could have imagined or asked for. You are the perfect other half of me that I never knew I needed. I could not imagine my life without you, nor will I. I am so proud of who you are and who you have become. You are the most incredible mother I know aside from my own. You have been a better wife to me than I deserve. I love you more than I ever thought I could and I will spend the rest of your life showing you what that looks life.

Lord, thank you for giving Holly life. Thank you for giving her to my children. Thank you for going exponentially beyond what I ever could have dreamed of. You are so good to me and so is she. Bless my wife for the rest of her lifetime and beyond. Continue to grow her, stretch her, overwhelm her, bless her.

It's an Honor

After tonight's service I am overwhelmed with this question??? Why do people come to Seven? It isn't the worship. It isn't the teaching. It isn't the friends. It isn't the building.

People come because they want to. They choose to.

And that is why it is an honor to be a part of what God is doing at Seven. I am grateful to be in the position I am in.

Grateful because I am surrounded by so many great people.

Fantasy Update

Not that anyone really cares but since I do and it's my blog I wanted to report on the progress of my little experiment called fantasy sports.

I am headed to the championship of our Seven Fantasy Football League. I will be playing Chase Morgan and the Fighting Geppettos who have the most cupcake schedule in America this coming week. More to come on that match-up later in the week. He's going to slaughter me somethin' fierce.

I am also headed to the championship game in my division of the SFFL. I am scheduled to face good ole Matt Marciante. Bring it on Matty. It's been you and me all season and this is the way the season should end...with Moss and the Patriots playing the Jets.

In fantasy basketball I have fallen from the top spot into second place. This week I am facing the #1 team, Mike Steel's "King of the Hill". We got off to a rocky start last night since I had one player and he had 5 and my guy Al Horford picked up 4 fouls in 6 minutes against the man-child that is Dwight Howard (who happens to be on Mike's team). Still, a long way to go in the season and I like my chances if we can stay healthy.

My Team:
Jason Kidd
Deron Williams
Kirk Hinrich
Stephen Jackson
Gerald Wallace
Ronnie Brewer
Andrei Kirilenko
Al Horford
LaMarcus Aldridge
Ben Wallace
Drew Gooden
Chris Bosh
Andrew Bynum

We're feeling pretty good about our chances (we being me, myself and I). It's good to be in the championships and near the top for basketball. Now let's stay healthy.

Tragedy at New Life

Thinking a lot about Brady and what happened at New Life yesterday.

-I can't imagine being in Brady's spot where next week some people will have to deal with the fear of what happened yesterday again. When I saw Brady on Fox News yesterday he looked broken for his people. Can't wait to listen to next week's message to hear what the Lord uses him to say. I have a feeling it's going to be one of New Life's finer hours.

-I can't imagine being a parent of a child that I was picking up and hadn't made it to class before the shooting began. The emotions I would feel. The speed I would run with. Nothing would have stopped me from getting to the kids classes.

-I can't imagine being a husband whose wife was out in the parking lot waiting for me to come out with the kids. A shooter between me and her. The helplessness. I can't imagine it.

-I can imagine being the guy who drew his weapon and protected many people by putting the shooter down. I'd like to say that I can't imagine it but I can. It saved lives. It was right for him to be carrying. I wish certain former le's at Gateway would be given the right to carry...I imagine after this, they will.

My prayers are with Brady and New Life today. Especially with the families of those who were shot and those who were around when it happened.

Lord, protect us like the overprotective father that you are. Protect me, protect my wife, protect my kids and all those that I love.

This kind of junk is ridiculous. Enough.

Idiota

Ever feel like you are an idiot for some of the things you think? I don't mean bad stuff. What I mean is do you ever find yourself in a conversation with people and they don't see it the same way as you and you are the one that feels stupid. Today was that day for me. Understand that I am surrounded by men and women at work who are older and in some cases much older than me. So sometimes when I share my opinion I feel a certain amount of pushback...like "Oh he's young, he'll change his mind when he gets to be my age". Maybe that's true. But what if there's something valid brought up from a "younger" team member?

I admit. I may be a little frustrated...not mad...I just hate feeling young...worse than that I hate feeling like I have nothing to contribute because of my age. No one said anything it's just the way I felt it was received.

I was not the wisest person in the room today, I acknowledge that. But I do serve the same God and that's where it all comes from. Young, maybe. Unusable, not in God's eye's. God has used my 4 year old to speak to me more than nearly any human on the planet. It's God, not us.

Don't know why I felt so stupid today but I did. I'm sure the Lord will chime in and give the perspective I need. That's what I love about him. I'm sure it'll have something to do with something I need to work on.

Here's What I'm Praying For Right Now

A Detroit girl who jumped in front of a hail of bullets to protect her mother from an enraged gunman Saturday night is being hailed as an “angel from heaven.”

Alexis Goggins, 7, was hit protecting her mother Selietha Parker, 30, after Parker's ex-boyfriend Calvin Tillie, 29, forced the pair and family friend Aisha Ford to drive to Six Mile Road under threat of death, the Detroit News reported.

Click here to read the full report from the Detroit News.

Tillie, who was armed with a handgun, shot Parker in the side of the head and in the arm after Ford stopped for gas, but before he could fire a third shot, Goggins jumped over the seat between her mother and Tillie, begging him to stop, the Detroit News reported. Without hesitation, Tillie reportedly pumped six shots into the child.

The first grader is in stable condition at Children’s Hospital in Detroit with gunshot wounds to the eye, left temple, chin, cheek, chest and right arm, the Detroit News reported. Parker was admitted to the hospital, but later released.

I can't imagine Rylie doing this. I'm not sure I'd want her to. Don't even know what I'm feeling as I read this. Overwhelming.

Nervous

I'm sitting here in the green room waiting for service to start and I am finding myself being a little nervous. This makes three weeks in a row. I don't know why. I rarely got nervous when we were at the Southlake campus, not sure why I am at the NRH campus. I not only don't know why but I don't even understand why. I am kind of hoping the Lord steps in and lets me know why. I'm not going to try and read into it and get all psychoanalytical about it...I'll just wait till the Lord reveals why. It is a wierd feeling though. Hope it goes away soon...unless it's supposed to be there.

Being There vs. Being There for You

Been feeling really challenged to step up my romantic pursuit of Rylie. If you are from Arkansas that's not what I mean. You people are gross (You know who you are!). Let me explain...

I am on a 20 year plan to capture Rylie's heart. I want to make sure that Rylie feels more pursued by me than any person on this planet. That's my job as her father, not just to be there for her but to go after her, to pursue her. I call it a romantic pursuit because that's what it is and that's what daddies do.

Romantic: characterized by a preoccupation with love or by the idealizing of love or one's beloved, displaying or expressing love or strong affection, ardent; passionate; fervent.

Girls, is that the type of pursuit you dream of having from your father? Of course it is. I think everyone wants to be pursued "ardently, passionately, fervently".

So I bought Rylie the High School Musical Nintendo Wii game where it's basically hsm karoake. Let's just say we were rocking it out last night as loud as we could. She was ecstatic. She was a singer. She was a performer. I was a hero. I was her hero. Last night was a seed that I sowed that I will reap during her teenage years and for the rest of her life.

Incidently, Rylie was not the only one having the time of her life singing...bet on it. Daddies don't just show up, daddies go all out.

Quick Hits

Brett Favre may be the reason for my first round exit in fantasy football this weekend.
Power trips are stupid.
Reality tv is not realistic anymore. Staged like a mo half the time.
Cockiness is not attractive.
No one can beat USC right now. No one.
The Everest series is going to be fun.
Tyler may be the best looking person I know. Little Pres is coming on strong though.
I'm about ready for the look of this blog to change.
Telling someone that "So and So said you have to" means you have far less authority than you think.
I love doing what my kids love to do...so does my dad.
God is gracious. I love the way He is blessing Holly's mom right now.
There's no one I want to be with at this stage of my life than Holly.
My marriage is as healthy as it has ever been. Crazy to think how much has changed in 7 years.
The depth of the experience is greater than the height of the mountain.
Chew on that one for a lifetime.

Everest

I started preparing for our next series in January on Mt. Everest. Everest is a great way to start the first of the year. I've started listening to Everest podcasts, watching Everest tv shows, and Everest documenteries. Fascinating. It's amazing how many spiritual connections there are to climbing Everest. Gonna be great. I'll share some of the stuff over the next month in the blog.

Look Around

I heard TD Jakes say something at a conference I attended several years ago that stuck with me..."When you start to see the heavy equipment come in you know God isn't trying to build a chicken coup but he's building a temple."

He was saying that when God begins to surround you with incredible people, incredible volunteers, incredible leaders that that is the thing that always precedes explosive growth. I could not agree more. I look back to when Pastor Robert started Gateway and we were flooded with incredible volunteers. In fact, even now at 10,000, some of the best leaders we have were here when we were less than 1,000.

When I look around at what surrounds me I am amazed at what the Lord has done and even more I am amazed at what he is about to do because of all of these incredible people. I am grateful.

The builders always come before the building and they'll keep coming all along the way.

Thank you Lord.

Cowboys Game

Watching the game right now...

T.O. should have caught that touchdown pass just now. Ridiculous.

Favre is my fantasy qb...has negative two points...and is out of the game.

Wade Phillips??? Going for it on 4th and 2 on the 32...KICK THE FIELD GOAL!

Why was the over/under only 31?

Cowboys will win...we'll see.

The Previews

Do you ever watch movies? I love movies. I especially love watching movies with my wife.

But there's one thing I have never, ever, ever liked about watching movies...THE PREVIEWS.

What a waste of time. When I go to see a flick at the theatre I usually like to get there 15 minutes after the published start time of the movie because that typically assures me of missing the bulk of the previews.

As I get older I am changing my mind about the previews a little bit. The Lord has changed my perspective of the previews over the past 7 years.

When I was 14 I felt the Lord begin telling me what he created me to accomplish with my life. It happened through prophetic words, life moments, and personal revelation from my time with the Lord. At the time I admit I was a little confused as to why God was telling me what he was telling me. What I heard and what he was actually saying were two very different things. I thought he was telling me how great I was, how much better I was than those around me, how much more important I was than they were. So stupid. Now I look back at those previews and see it in a whole new light.

I think the reason God gives us previews is partially because we're not quite ready for the movie. Maybe we are a little late, a little slow, in the wrong theatre, still buying popcorn, milk duds and sour patch kids, or whatever. If we are seeing the previews it means it's not time for the movie.

God is so gracious with us, with me. He knows the process. He knows the timeline. He knows when we will be ready enough. He knows that it is during the previews that we prepare for the movie. It is in the previews that we get excited enough about the movie to show up for the movie when it releases. In the previews we see snippets of the plot, of the danger, of the characters, of the movie. It is in the previews that we prove whether or not we can handle the box office success that is to come. It is in the previews that we learn that the best movies are not about great actors but great stories.

Enjoy the previews. The movie will begin shortly.

Mad like a Moron

Have you ever noticed what happens to you when you get upset? If you're like me you have a tendency to get a little riled up in a very short period of time. I'm an all in kind of guy. There are many benefits to that type of attitude but there are drawbacks as well. Such as...I can flip a switch in a heartbeat...faster than you can blink. Something silly happened just now and for some reason I got a little riled up. It was so trivial, so small, so the only thing I could think about for 5 minutes.

You know one of the things that happens when I get mad that I absolutely hate? It uncovers so many ugly things. I mean ugly. For some reason when I get mad some really nasty things surface in my life. I'm beginning to think it is the Lord taking the opportunity to prove a point, to be a caring and concerned father for a minute. Man, some really ugly things came out of me. Nothing out loud. Just in my head...which is the worst kind. I can pretend they're not there but when something upsets me I am immediately reminded that they have been there all along.

I started thinking how I make more money than so and so and I'm this and I'm that. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I am embarrassed to even admit that this happens and even more so am grateful that the Lord doesn't take everything away from me when I think stupid thoughts like that. I'll tell you one thing, I'll never have any more authority than I do now if I don't learn to be vulnerable and humble and submissive and secure. The Lord reminds me of that.

The great thing about being created to communicate is that I get a chance to share what the Lord has given me by using my mouth. The sad thing about the gift of communication is that it can turn to a deadly weapon in a moment. Ugly. Nasty. As Tyler would say, "Yukky"! It's sad that out of my own insecurity I think about using the gift God has given me to harm and not honor. Grateful he doesn't take it away when I drop the ball.

Everything I have is a gift from the Lord. I came into this world with nothing and I will leave with nothing. Everything he has gifted me to do is because of Him not me or my ability. At my best I am a moron. At my worst I am nothing.

Surprisingly enough I am grateful for this little learning opportunity. I need these moments. I want to be faithful. I want to grow. I want to make my Father proud. Gonna have to work on this.

I want to be someone who never overestimates himself and never underestimates the people around him.

How Daddies Hold

We had a great week in California for Thanksgiving last week with Holly's family. Unfortunately, getting to her parents place requires a 3 hour flight. The best part about that 3 hour flight though is that we make it with 3 children under the age of 5 and the youngest is teething. Good times, good times. We have made this trip so many times this year that we kind of have a routine for the flight down pat. Holly sits next to Rylie in one row with Preston in her lap and I take Tyler in another row. Tyler is the least relaxed on airplanes of all of my kids...but I'd rather have a fidgety 2 year old than a crying 7 month old. Because Tyler was all over the map in that 3 hour span of time I was forced to hold him in a variety of ways that got me thinking again about how God is with me.

Daddies hold you up to keep you from falling.
Daddies hold you close to snuggle with you.
Daddies hold on to you to keep you from getting lost.
Daddies hold you upside down to laugh.
Daddies hold you while they bounce to put you to sleep.
Daddies hold you out to carry you over barriers on your level.
Daddies hold you back when you don't know what's best for yourself.
Daddies hold you just because you say "uppie".

The one thing we fail to remember like Tyler is that no matter how we are being held, the reason our fathers hold us the way that they do is that they are trying to find the best posture for us and what we need at that time. Because that's what daddies do.

Quickly

Just got settled in to Holly's parents place in Fresno. Been a long 24 hours. Have some thoughts about last night and about a revelation I got on the plane...GREAT stuff there. Running to the grocery store and I'll post when I get back.

And Just Like That...Everything Changes

Spent several hours up at NRH last night getting the building ready for tonight. I have been overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions over the past week of opening Gateway Church NRH.

This has been something I have dreamt of for more than 7 years. I remember the first time Robert came to me and asked me to put together a building plan for generational ministry (I think I did it at least 4 times in 90 months). It was kind of fun to dream and visionize about what a building like that would look like if I were to have a say in it. But I also remember the deposit that the Lord made in me as I drew out the building on paper...it was significant...it was unforgettable...it was a foretaste.

There have been several times throughout my time at Gateway where I actually thought we would get it built...that was more than 4 years ago. What can I say? I was young and dumb.

All this time, no matter how unlikely it seemed, I saw it. I have known what this would look like for years...not the paint schemes, carpet colors, or layout. I guess it's hard to explain but I have always had a sense of what things would look like when this building was built.

4 years ago I wasn't ready but now things are different...much different. God's timing is perfect. I have felt like what God was doing at Seven was something very few churches try to or have the resources to offer. For the first time in my life I am actually proud of the ministry I am a part of...not in the sense that it's any better than others...I am simply proud to be a part of my Father's business doing my part to see it succeed and be eternally profitable.

I feel like to this point Seven has been a great hole in the wall restaurant with great food. Not everybody has known where our restaurant is located or what exactly we serve but those customers who have dined with us have immediately become lifers. And then in a moment I feel like one rich man came into the restaurant and tasted the food and saw that it was good. In fact he thought it was so good that he instantly started making plans to take our little whole in the wall from a place that could seat 40 and build a restaurant that seated 20 times that. Some people saw it as a hole in the wall restaurant but not this investor, he saw the opportunity to feed thousands a menu that people dream of ordering from. The rich man was so excited to eat the food and see others eat it around him that he built the new restaurant himself. There is no way the family who owned this little eatery could have afforded to expand their business. In fact, they had never even counted the cost of expansion because it would have taken more than they made in a lifetime of profit from their little shop. But this rich man changed everything. The rich man knew this. He never required a dime. He never asked for a thing. All he said was "People need to experience your menu, they must experience your menu. I will see to it for the rest of my life that your restaurant has every opportunity to feed as many people as possible as excellently as possible." And over a very short period of time this little restaurant went from a place that only locals knew about to a place where tourists made a point to eat while they where in town if only for a day. The food was the same. The service was the same. The people were the same. The only thing that changed was one rich man came in and took his influence and his resources and made this little hole in the wall restaurant famous.

I knew that when the Lord built this building that it would coincide with what he was doing in me. It's not that I'm ready, it's just that it's time.

This is a day I will never forget. Thank you Lord.

Who Am I?

Had one of those days today. I think I probably prayed with 16 or 17 people between the second and third services. I'm not sure why but I had people grabbing me and waiting to pray with me more than normal. All I could think the entire time was "Who am I that I get to do this with my life?"

I could be doing anything with my life. I could still be a busboy, a valet, or a security guard. But I get to work in an environment where people want me to pray with them about their situation.

I wish people could hear my thoughts sometimes. All I think as I'm getting to pray with people is how blessed I am to get paid to do what I do. I love it.

Nervous

I am gearing up for our flag football league finale tonight. The league has gone really well...better than I could have hoped.
Thoughts about our games...
I'm nervous. Everyone wants to beat me. They're out to get me. I just don't want to get hurt. I don't think we will win but that doesn't even matter...I don't want to get hurt.
There are so many players on the teams we will be playing tonight, so many big guys, fast guys, strong guys. We are honestly outmatched.



Give me a break. If you honestly believe all that stuff I have some land in the bayou I want to sell you.

Does that stuff even sound like me? Not even close.

Here's my call...my team wins first game 46-17 and the championship 54-30. My other prediction is that I won't even break a sweat.

Let's get it on.

NRH

Just got home from the first gathering at the NRH campus. Pretty cool to see something I have been picturing for the past 7 years take place right in front of me. Not many words could articulate how feel as Seven moves into this campus. Grateful is the best I can do.

All I can see walking through the building is opportunities everywhere. This will be a great tool to add to what we already offer as we seek to help and reach every person possible.

This building reaches people. This building reaches my generation. This building reaches me.

Can't wait to see it in action.

15 Years Ago

It was almost 15 years ago this time that I was 14 and reading through the bible for the very first time. I remember having such an excitement to complete reading every word. My dad had made me a deal that if I read through the bible in one year that he would give me $250. That's a lot of money for a 14 year old kid. The money may have been the reason I got started but it was not the reason I finished. As I got more and more into God's letter to me I became enamored with it. I started in Genesis where a young guy had a dream but had to wait twenty years for it to happen. I got to Ruth and read the most romantic words I had ever read in my life. I got to Psalms and read about a the only man in recorded history that God said was a person after his own heart yet the guy was a messed up mo. I got to Proverbs and found some of the greatest keys of wisdom I had ever been given. I remember how the pieces just seemed to fit. That what I was reading was so incredibly applicable for me. I asked the Lord that day if he would make me the wisest person I know. Not so that I would receive riches because of it but for a totally different reason. I asked the Lord to give me wisdom so that every time I sit with someone, meet with someone, counsel someone, encourage someone, correct someone, help someone that I would be able to give them something that wouldn't just help them but would change their lives.

Since I started in ministry over 7 years ago I have had so many moments where I was speaking and it was obvious what was coming out of my mouth didn't come out of my mind. Outside of any moment with my family those are the moments I live to experience.

When I was 14 I knew that God called me into ministry. I never dreamed of ministry. I never dreamed of preaching to hundreds of people let alone thousands. All I dreamt of was being able to give something away to people that could not be obtained from God but had to be received from him.

My life is a dream come true.

10 Years Ago Today

Had an interesting weekend this weekend. Hard to articulate what is going on inside of me right now but something is going on. I had a moment this weekend where the Lord said some things about me and my situation 10 years ago. Here are some of the highlights..

Then out of nowhere He said this, "Preston you have already forgotten where you were, what you were, and what you had 10 years ago today."

You may read right through that sentence and mentally bypass it's importance...but I can't. That sentence represents nearly 4,000 days (or 1/3) of my life. That sentence represents 1,000's of moments where the Lord showed himself to be faithful. That sentence reminds me someone I don't even look like anymore. That sentence reminds me of how good God is.

10 years ago today I was a sophomore in college who had nearly dropped out as a freshman because of a broken heart.

10 years ago I was sitting in my campus apartment still thinking about a girl I was still in love with that was engaged to someone else.

10 years ago today I was making $8 an hour working graveyard security for an apartment complex that housed the Phoenix mafia (it felt like that wondering around the place at 4am with gunshots going off).

10 years ago I was dominating intramurals.

10 years ago I had more girls that wanted to marry me who honestly thought it was the Lord's will than I have friends now. (At least that's how I remember it).

10 years ago today I was fearing graduating college in 3 years because I had no idea how I was going to get a job at a church.

10 years ago today I was thinking it was time to get baptized.

10 years ago today I was dreaming of the day someone would love me, marry me, raise children with me, spend forever with me.

10 years ago today I was halfway into racking up $15,000 of school debt and $3,000 dollars of dumb debt.

10 years ago I drove a convertible that seated 2 people.

10 years ago today I was wondering if what God had been telling me for 20 years that he would use me to do would ever come true.

Today I thank the Lord for how he spared me from a relationship that could have changed everything.

Today I sit in my office enamored with the woman I dreamt for 20 years about meeting...let alone marrying.

Today I have the job I never imagined I could ever get let alone keep.

Today I am not dominating much of anything athletically.

Today I see girls who look at a man's finger to see if he is married and couldn't care less.

Today I look back at the last 7 1/2 years that I have worked at one of the fastest growing churches in the country.

Today I am more intimate with the Lord than I ever could have comprehended was possible.

Today I wake up every morning to the sweet voices of Rylie, Tyler and Preston and to the kisses of the greatest mother to my children I could have asked for.

Today I have no debt and more money in our retirement than I make in 18 months.

Today I stare at the new house on wheels that is my wife's Suburban.

Today I still listen to what God is telling me he will use me to do and wonder how in the world it will ever happen.

You have brought me so far in 10 years Lord. It's truly hard to understand.

You have saved me, spared me, protected me, provided for me, guided me, spoken to me, overwhelmed me, disciplined me, taught me, used me, been faithful to me, laughed at me, grown me, molded me, prepared me, appointed me, quieted me, launched me, more than I ever could have hoped or asked for.

You are God alone and you are good to me. Thanks for the history lesson. Thanks for yesterday and thank you for today.

Where where you 10 years ago today? What were you doing? Who were you doing it with? Who where you? Don't forget how far God has brought you. Let it remind you of how far he can take you from where you are today to where you'll be 10 years from today.

Terror

Was just reading a blog I keep up with where he was talking about what makes terrorists so powerful. Here's a clip...

They have absolutely no regard for self-preservation.
Their only obsession is the cause.

Pretty powerful thought.

I think one of the things that holds back good leaders from being great leaders is the desire to create a culture of self-preservation that says "If I were to leave the organization would fail". It goes back to one of my favorite goals...I want to build His kingdom not mine.

Rylie's First Day of Pre-K

She was so confident.
I was much more nervous.

She was so grateful to be in school.
I was so grateful to be putting her there.

She is so smart for a 4 year old.
I want her to have every advantage I can give her.

I was so proud to be taking her to school. I am extremely proud of her.

Stewarding Rylie's life as her father is one of the greatest responsibilities of my life and one of the greatest gifts.

As I get older and my kids do too it gets easier and easier to sacrifice whatever I can for their benefit. It is becoming more and more of a no-brainer.

Living life with my kids is incredible. Living in step with my wife is indescribable.

There is nothing that I am more grateful for than Holly. She's more than I ever could have asked for in a teammate, friend, life love, date, person I wake up every morning of my life looking at.

She is a dream come true. Thank you Lord.

He Makes Me Look Good

Thinking today about how many times in my day where I do something that turns out good that has nothing to do with me. I am grateful for God's favor and his goodness. There are so many times where he protects me by doing something I could never do, saying something that I could never say. Some people hear it or see it and are impressed...I know better...It's all God. I have said too many stupid things in my lifetime for anything of value to come out that wasn't Him.

The funny thing is that he wants me to look good. That's the way daddies operate. They want their children to look better than them. The only difference is that God wants to get the glory.

Not a problem. I'll spend the rest of my life convincing people that anything of value has nothing to do with me. I'm just grateful to be used.

Timelessly Classic God

I found a prophetic word that I had given to a student over a year ago. When I read it I thought there was no way that any of this came from my mouth. It reads more like TD Jakes.

My first thought actually was that I am so grateful to the Lord when he speaks. I couldn't live without it.

For your reading pleasure...

You're asking God for progress, personal progress, but progress involves pursuit.
God says "Ho much you pursue me decides how much I propel you."
Stop waiting for me to act, cause I'm waiting for you to act.
Waiting is overrated.
Don't wait because you want to receive your individual calling from the Lord...God cares more about commitment than he does individual calling...you should too.

Hope it speaks to someone the way it spoke to me this morning almost 18 months after I wrote it down.

Check-Ups

Have you ever thought about the need for a doctors "check-up"? Maybe you are like us and you have at least an annual visit to the doctor to make sure everything is great with your health. As you get older the need for these check-ups to become more regular is very important. Here's why: the more lifetime you log the more chance for damage, the more chance for damage the more chance for disaster. So in many ways the only reason to have regular check-ups is to avert a physical disaster.

I don't think this is any different than it is with God. I think we all need check-ups or spiritually I would call them tests. Don't be offended when you are faced with a test from the Lord. He is just trying to keep you from experiencing major disaster. No matter what you think, the major reason for tests is not trust, it is not to see if you are trustworthy. The major reason for tests is to make sure everything is working properly to avoid a major catastrophe.

I know you hate tests. But if I test for a particular type of cancer all of the time I increase my chance of catching it early enough to treat it if I ever am faced with having it. In other words tests can save lives. Tests seem like a pretty good idea if you think about it like that. But then again you already knew that. If a test means possibly saving my life sign me up.

Tests are good. Tests are everywhere.

Advice: Don't grade your test with someone else's answer key. God did not give you their standards...He gave you yours.

#2 pencils anyone?

Interesting

Interesting message last night. It's amazing how your perspective changes when you start seeing God as a daddy before an omnipotent. I know the message spoke to me. My only goal was for every person who heard that message last night to wake up this morning and say what Rylie says to me every morning..."morning daddy". I know to some it sounds cheesy but if you catch the revelation that is God as father you will no doubt see it as anything but cheesy.

I feel like I'm doing what I was created to do. It is an honor for me to get to share the revelation God has given me every Tuesday night with a captive audience of peers. This is my dream job. Not just being at Gateway but really even better than that is the fact that God is using me and is speaking something so clearly that he wants me to give away.

I don't know how significant of a message last night was for anyone there but it was very significant to me. II do think after last night's message that there are a few more people who see God in a whole new way. That's amazing. That's revelational. It's God. If you don't attend Seven on Tuesday nights you may enjoy the video podcast. You can go to iTunes and search Gateway Seven and you'll find the message titled Off Topic 10/30/07. The message will be up sometime tomorrow. Enjoy.

Excitement

It's official. I am excited again. I am excited about where Seven is going. I am excited to be doing what I am doing right now. This is what I was created to do. It's not that I ever lost excitement over Seven it's just that the past two series have been really very personally challenging for me. Last Tuesday was a return to normalcy and the past week seemed more like a typical week when we first started Seven...full of flow and revelation. This is my dream job. I am grateful. But I'm really grateful to be back delivering the burden that God has given my to deliver. Love it. This is how my life was meant to be lived. Can't wait to speak tomorrow night. Gonna be a great curveball. Gonna use Rylie the entire message up on the stage if I can get her to stay up there with me. It's been several months since I felt this way but tonight I go to bed thinking God is about to blow up what is happening at Seven. Sign me up. I'm in.

Consistency Please

If you want a lesson in how important consistency is, have a baby. Having children has taught me more about the value of consistency than any other situation, relationship, or responsibility. It's tough. I don't know how you feel about discipline but Holly and I believe it is our God-given responsibility to lead our children through offering wisdom to them, making decisions for them while they are young, providing for them, loving them, and disciplining them. But it's tough. Sometimes it is just so easy to "let it go". Sometimes I want to. Especially if I just spanked one of them or they got in trouble. But right is right and I take my responsibility to father my three children with the utmost of seriousness. One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that when I am not consistent with my love and my discipline that it confuses my kids. They expect consistency...even if I'm wrong sometimes...they expect me to be consistent. I owe it to them...even if I'm tired and don't want to...I owe it to my kids to be consistent. And consistent I will do my best to be.

Pure Sadness

This morning I played in our flag football game and experienced a very sad realization...

I am not the athlete I was when I was 20. It hurts me to even type it let alone to admit it.

Now ten years after my college intramurals (which I overwhelmingly dominated, don't bother asking anyone else, just ask me) I am faced with trying not to get "too" competitive since my mind and my body work at two very different speeds.

Let's just say my mind says "Preston you run like a cheetah and swim like the salmon of Capistrano" and my body says "Preston you run like your grandmama and swim like an anchor".

It was funny this morning. I was pretty riled up in the first couple of minutes but after the first few series I quickly came to the realization that it just wasn't going to happen.

I am flying the black flag today mourning the slow death of my once upon a time athletic prowess.

Who would have ever thought it? I am a shell of my former self.

Soon Enough

Have you ever wanted something really badly? How quickly did you want it?

I think we all have things we want that we don't have...maybe it's a possession, a request fulfilled, a job, a spouse, a friend, children...no matter what it is my bet is that the longer you waited the faster you wanted it to be put in your lap.

Here's a great example.

Last year I saw a deer that was huge. I really wanted him on my wall. I hunted him like crazy all season last year. I was at the lease nearly every week last season. Spent a fortune in gas and food money but I was convinced if I hunted hard enough that I would get a shot at him. Saw him once up close but was caught in a situation where it would have been an unethical shot. I passed.

Then this year I wasn't really thinking I would hunt for him. I sort of gave up on that one. But he somehow walked in to my feeder now he is on his way to full-time residence on my wall.

That's how God is. I want it now and He wants me to wait til it's time. If I would have taken matters into my own hands last year that same deer would be 20% smaller than it was this year.

I was at the lease this week and and the Lord was reminding me of this. When I wait in His timing it always works out in my favor...ALWAYS.

You may be asking the Lord for something and you feel like he is saying no...obviously I do not know your situation but I do know this...that many times when I think God is saying no he is actually saying not yet.

Not yet is not No. Wait. It'll happen soon enough.

Much Better

Feeling pretty good about tonight's service. Much closer to our "normal". I think a lot of people could tell a difference between tonight and the past couple of months. We're gonna get our groove back. Most people would say we never lost it. But I have pretty high expectations.

Worship was really good tonight. Really good.

The message was good. It's been a while since I felt that good. I'm grateful that I have the opportunity I have for the Lord to use me at Seven...it could be anybody.

Rylie and I went to Seven together without Holly and the boys (they're sick) and we cranked High School Musical 2 music the whole way home...it was a moment...she was so excited...she said "Daddy, I love spemding time with you". There is no where I would have rather been at that moment.

Tonight, I am celebrating. Thank you Lord.

Enjoy

Why is it that when we read Ecclesiastes where it says "enjoy the fruit of your labor" that we think that is somehow not spiritual? That's ridiculous. As a father I want my kids to enjoy every blessing they are given the privilege of receiving. It would be stupid if every time I gave my children a blessing that they looked over their shoulder at me to see if I thought they were "overcelebrating". That's what we do though. We think we're gonna get struck by lightning if we celebrate too much. Celebrating too much is not bragging. Bragging is something totally different. Bragging exposes something deep in the heart. Celebrating is the height of gratitude. Think about this...when I see my children celebrating what I give them...I have the same reaction every time...I WANT TO GIVE THEM MORE.

Celebrate. Enjoy.

"Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, WHO GIVES US RICHLY ALL THINGS TO ENJOY" 1 Timothy 6:17

Meat

I have a lot of blogs I keep up with many of which are from senior pastors all over the country. It has seemed for some time now that there is a "see who can be cuter" contest going on. Let me explain. It seems as though all of these churches (which are some of the fastest growing in the US) are trying to outdo the others by coming up with the flashiest ideas and gimmicks.

First, let me say that for the first 5 or 6 years of my time in ministry I was deadset on having the best gimmicks around. My gimiicks would convince you to come to church. But once I got you there there was not much meat to keep you there. There was nothing to eat. And I got stuck in the trap of trying to outdo the last gimmick I created. Tough to say the least.

Then we started Seven. I went to the other side of the scale. I was all about feeding and cared nothing about the gimmicks, the lights, atmosphere, production, all of it. I felt like we were feeding and people were eating and it didn't matter what the room looked like.

As I've said before, Seven has been full of "teachable moments". I am learning a lot about the dynamics of church and my generation, what works, what doesn't work, what's hard, what's easy, what's funny, what's stupid, what draws, what doesn't draw. The past two series have not had the life that I have normally set out to offer. It was a learning experience to the nth degree. It's funny how the Lord is always trying to get my attention to teach me something. I love it. But it doesn't come without a little frustration.

There has to be a balance. My goal in life is to reach as many people as I can with every resource that I can to teach every person that I can to reach every person that they can with the overwhelming love of Jesus Christ.

He was creative. Actually He was so creative that he is the Creator. But he always, always, always no matter how creative the illustration or gimmick was, gave away the meat. ALWAYS.

We think that lost people are impressed with the gimmicks. I don't think that is true. Gimmicks get them there but what impresses them is meat...that somebody gave them something to chew on...to think about. You know who get's stuck on the gimmicks? Church people. Who always talked and murmered most about Christs' message? The religious ones.

So here's what I think...the gimmicks help people in church keep it fresh. It may inspire them to find something new with God. Gimmicks may keep lost people coming in the door but it is the meat that keeps them coming through the door. I want both, I do. But I want the meat. I don't want to be so cute that it distracts from what the Lord is trying to say. But I also don't want to be so meaty that it doesn't inspire people to be creative and innovative in their relationship with the Lord.

It's a balance I guess I will spend the rest of my life in ministry trying to keep tight. Eat up.

Real Quick

Deer scores 175 2/8.

The ultimate man is not so ultimate...M&M bag throwing and frisbee contest? I am no longer ultimate if that's what ultimate is.

If Kobe comes to the Mavs I will never cheer for the Mavs ever again.

The BCS standings are a joke. South Florida is not even a top 25 team. Rutgers?

Atta Boy Joe Torre. Steinbrenner doesn't deserve him.

Everyone and their dog is headed to the lease this weekend. Pictures of my deer have everyone going bananas.

It's rough when my kids are sick. Especially the babies. Holly is a champ.

It's now 2:28a and this post as had many distractions.

Can grace go too far?

I love Vegas.

30 is creeping my direction.

Who will coach the Ags next year?

My eyes are burning. Seacrest out.

Not Just Obedience

I'm learning a lot about obedience and submission lately. You know where God says that he desires obedience more than sacrifice? Isn't that a little ironic? Isn't obedience a sacrifice? It is to me. I can't think of many times in my life where obedience was not a sacrifice. And not just that but obedience turns the corner to submission and it really gets difficult. You'll take some hits. Here are some thoughts on submission...

Submission doesn't explain, it just submits.

Submission doesn't care what anyone thinks, it just submits.

Submission protects and prefers.

Submission doesn't need answers just obedience.

Submission is a part of God's process. Submission to God's authority and man's authority.

I have learned this over the last few years...I win when I submit and obey. But I am learning that there is an entirely greater level of submission and obedience...it's called carrying a burden. This is where I am working the most. I am asking the Lord to give me a greater burden for the people I serve and answer to. I don't want to submit out of simple obedience. I want to submit because I carry such a burden for them that it pushes me to my knees with the overwhelming desire to serve from the seat of submission.

This Just In

Bestbuy is no longer selling analog TVs. It's the end of an era.

Apple's iPhone will be ready for third-party applications by February.

New York is now host to a life size chocolate sculpture of Jesus. Wow.

Take a Day

Take today and take every person you care about in your life, one at a time, and think about how much different your life would look if they were not in it. It's a great exercise. It will no doubt remind you of how special each person is around and you and even more than that give you a much greater appreciation for them.

Then tell them. Or at least tell God and thank him for them.

Your life is deficient without the people around you. You experience only a fragment of what life is meant to be without those you care about.

Today is one of those days where I can't really articulate how grateful I am to the Lord...all I can seem to say is "You're just so good." He is.

All Over the Map Quick Hits

Holly brought the kids up to the office yesterday. I love my kids. I'm so proud of them. I'm so grateful.

I have been thinking a lot about Holly's mom being healed lately. I have been asking the Lord more than ever for him to heal her. He can do it. I want him to. Not just for my wife, for my children as well.

I haven't been this excited about a series for as long as I can remember. I can't wait to start the Gross Income series.

I am amazed at how the Lord has surrounded me with such incredible people. I don't think He's planning on building a chicken coup.

I was telling the Lord this morning how much I can't believe how strong my marriage to Holly is after how stupid I looked the first two years. Having children has taken our marriage to a level I did not know existed. I thought it would take away some. Not even close. It has brought us even closer together.

Have you ever thought that God may put people in your life for a season but not forever? I am learning about this. It's weird.

I was in the green room this weekend when James Robison was back there. The first thing he said was "Man Preston, that was an awesome deer." Robert had already emailed him the pictures. But then he started talking about how great a father we have in God who loves to give us things we love so much just because we are doing good for no other reason than right is right and not to get anything. That was a gift. It was a fatherly moment with the Lord.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that at 29 that this is what life would look like. I am blessed. We are blessed. You are blessed.

You Don't Compare

I spoke to the University of North Texas football team yesterday. It went okay...at that point they were 0-5 and I know they were all a little heavy hearted. I spoke about how as athletes we are trained very early on to compare ourselves to others. That's how we determine who's best. But in life this is an extremely dangerous theory.

I do believe God gives us periodic points of reference where he reminds us how blessed we are but I do not think He created us to search for points of comparison. Comparing yourself to others is one of the most miserable ways to live life. Compare yourself to yourself..to God's standard for you...not to others. You'll feel so much less stress I promise.

I also spoke about being a good teammate...being an armorbearer. Cheering for your teammates. I thought it went well.

I guess I imparted a little extra anointing cause they won their first game this year...or maybe not.

Congrats to the UNT football team. May it be the first of many.

Buck of a Lifetime

It happened. I went hunting Tuesday night after Seven. I hunted Wednesday morning and didn't see much at all. But Wednesday night...is where it all changed. I had 12 bucks at my feeder almost an hour before the feeder went off. But then at 6:45p I had a buck coming in from about 150 yards. I could tell from a distance that he was a possible shooter. He got to 50 yards behind some bushes and I could tell I was going to shoot him if I got a shot. He kept coming in and got to about 35 yards, never slowing down long enough for me to get a shot. Then he scared off all of the other deer...he even scared himself. Out of nowhere he ran away back the way he came. I could see him through the brush and he didn't run too far so I went to full draw and waited for him to come back within range. Then in a flash...he did. He came back. I was shaking like a wobbly piece of jello. The thing looked huge. It happened so fast that I couldn't even see any thing about the deer. I could tell without a doubt that he was a deer that I would not hesitate to take. He got to 21 yards and I took step one to getting the meat in the freezer. Big buck down. I got out of my blind and heard him go down very quickly. Went to pick up my cousin and we came back and found him. He only went about 45 yards. The rough score of the deer ended up being 178 5/8. In other words, the deer of a lifetime.

Quick Hits

-How many will be drinking the Romo Red Koolaid now?

-My fantasy team is rolling...but has a ton of bye week players next week.

-How bout them Cowboys?

-Been reading the notes from Catalyst thanks to many blogs I keep up with. I missed it on that one.

-Brad is speaking tomorrow night. Praying for him. He'll do great.

-Bears take down Packers...no soup for you Favre.

-Speaking for University of North Texas football team this weekend. That'll be fun.

-Sorry for Joe Torre. He's out for sure in New York.

-I love a challenge.

-With God on my side I like my chances.

-Don't put a period where God puts a comma. How bout them apples?

You Have It Easy

Just read this article titled "Prominent Palestinian Christian Activist Found Dead on Gaza City Street" at http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,299969,00.html.

We have it easy. No bullets flying my way. Perspective please. Ayyad left two young children and a pregnant wife. He loved Jesus. Bless his family. Provide for them beyond their wildest dreams. Visit them. Protect your people from evil.

I have it easy.

put me in Coach

Things can change in a moment. Love your wife. Love your kids. Love God. Love family. Love the people around you.

People are hurting all around you. I don't get paid to reach people...I get paid to help people reach people. But as a believer I have been commissioned to reach people no matter what I get paid to do. I have a list. A list that I have told the Lord no matter what he uses me to do in church, no matter how big the biggest group I ever preach to is, that if I can be used to reach these people, to help them, to minister to them, to love on them, to answer them, to direct them, to show them, to remind them, to clean up after them, to hang with them, to pursue them...if I can be used to reach these people, no matter what else happens in my life in ministry, I would see me life as an overwhelming success.

I think it's time. I have been sowing for years in two out of three of these. It may be time to check the soil. My burden has increased. My heart has increased. My thoughts are increasing. I want a shot. Not sure what to do but I want a shot.

The funny thing is how different this is from how I was in college. I wanted the shot cause I wanted the credit.

Now, I have such a burden for this person that I would do almost anything to see it happen. Don't care who gets the credit I just want to do what I can. I want to be used. I want to do my part and beg God to do his.

I need God to move. I need Him to do what only he can do. I need a miracle. Please Lord. Please. Do what you have to but protect. Allow it but assign help. Change everything. Take the pain. Take the junk. Take the excuses. Reveal the love. Reveal the help. Reveal the blessings. Rebuke the thief. Guard against the one who seeks to kill. Do not allow destruction. I know you're up to something. I know it. It is no coincidence. Use Holly and I. We love them. We care for them. Not nearly as much as you do.

Teach me something I can't learn from anyone else. Teach me something I couldn't get in college. Show me what I can do. Point me in the right direction. Don't let Holly and I get in the way. Do what you do best. Put me in Coach.

Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda

I should have gone to Catalyst. This is the last year I don't go. Even if I pay my own way, I won't miss next year.

Love My Spot

I'm so grateful for the gift of being the head of my home. I love sitting in this seat. I picked up a dvd system for Holly's new car and you would have thought I bought a movie theatre the way the kids reacted. It's so cool to be in the position that we are in. We're rich. We don't think that we are but we are. We are afraid to admit it but we are rich. We all are. We always want to make more, have more, acquire more...but the fact remains that chances are you are rich. I'll talk more about this as this is what my next series is about. Don't take this the wrong way but you're rich. Start acting like it. Love every minute of it and steward it with all that is in you. I can't wait to start this series. Hold on to your hats.

It's an Honor

I've spent the day with my kids today. We got an early start as Holly had a doctor's appointment at 8:30a. I learned something worth noting for the rest of my life...my kids want to be just like me. Rylie and Tyler spent all day trying to do everything I do. I loved it. I was working out and doing push-ups on the table and Tyler started doing it and wouldn't stop all day. He thinks it's cool...he even grunts. What an honor it is to have children that want to be like daddy. I can only imagine how honored God feels when I try to be just like him. Great day.

Just Do It

How great does it feel to take good care of the Lord's temple? Holly and I have been getting back into shape now that she knows that the "childbirthing" phase of life is behind us...okay it's really just behind her cause I would just show up for the birth and she did all the work.

I feel much more energy during my day. I sleep better. I get more done. I eat better. It's all better.

Beyond that though the biggest thing I enjoy about being in great shape is that I feel a sense of pride in the care of His temple. I take it very seriously. I enjoy the feeling that comes with good stewardship...whether it is my money, my time, my relationships, my opportunities, or my body.

It's just me, my iPod, and a bottle of green tea. Holla!

Back to the Basics

Had a meeting with someone today that had one goal for our time...outintellect me. He actually communicated that to me. He had sent an email to Pastor Robert and was directed to me so when he realized he wasn't getting the senior pastor I guess he thought he was above meeting with me. That's okay...it's not the first time and probably won't be the last. He had a list of questions for me that ranged from soteriology to everything end times and several things in between.

Let me say this. When I was in college I thought that I was there to get theological training...and to an extent I was there for that...but I wasn't there to turn answers into ammunition. I wasn't there to accumulate knowledge. I was there to acquire wisdom. What's the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Knowledge is knowing something and wisdom is doing something with it.

The meeting today ended well. But there were some things coming out of my mouth that hadn't in a while. What if every time Rylie was in my presence she asked me deep questions? Some questions that had nothing to do with our relationship. Some questions that would not change one thing about her everyday life and how she lived it. What if it was all she would talk about? It would hurt my relationship with her.

I think the same is true of God. I'll never have all the answers. Neither will you. The moment you have all the answers will be the moment you never have need for faith again. Don't see that happening. So put relationship first not knowledge. Who really cares how much I know if I never do anything with it?

Grateful for my meeting today. It was a great reminder.

P.S.- I'm back.

Feel Good Moment of the Day

I love feeling like I am doing what I was created to do. I feel like I'm hitting my stride again. I've had about a 7 week period of I don't know what but I feel like as I move back into my upcoming series that I am hitting my stride. I'm passionate again. I can't wait to start the next series. There's nothing like having a burden to give away. I can't preach any other way. I am excited about what is on my plate right now. Let's get it on. Some of the ideas we are having for the next 4 series are pretty creative. It is cool watching this stuff unfold. Just glad to be here.

Hit Me Up

The cowboys are rolling.

People are drinking the Romo koolaid right now.

The deer lease was great this weekend.

No big deer and no new ones to put on the wall.

Bought Holly a Suburban this weekend...may be the first good decision I've made on a car ever.

Stock market had a great day today...been a great year there.

Nokia bought Navtek and it sent my Garmin reeling 10%.

It's okay for my Garmin...I'm still up 146%.

Preston Samuel is getting so big.

Holly is inspiring me to get back into great shape. I love how serious she is about fitness right now.

Think about this...me starting a series next March called Last Words...and we bring in Pastor Robert and some others and they preach the message as if it were the last of their life. This has serious potential. Have some good ideas on this one.

Already planning my 30th birthday.

Get Informed

I have been thinking a lot about our elected officials lately. Don't be ignorant to the issues or the candidates. God uses our elected officials to lead our cities, our states, our country...but he uses us to elect them. Know what's going on around you. I personally don't care who you vote for...just hear the Lord as you do your research. Would you marry somebody you knew nothing about? Then don't vote for someone you know nothing about. Get informed. Vote.

#100

We made it to post #100. It took less than three months to get here. Hope you find this in some way beneficial or entertaining for your everyday life. If nothing else hopefully listening to my sometimes moronic rants helps you to feel better about your situation.

Here are the stats...

1755 page views
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Happy 100th Off Topic.

The Value of Peace

How much is peace worth to you? How much value do you place on it? Do you even know what real peace is? When was the last time you experienced true peace?

All great questions that I have been facing over the past few weeks. There's been a lot rumbling around in me since my trip to Colorado Springs...but really for the past 6 or 7 months.

I haven't been sleeping well. I haven't been eating well. I'm clinching my teeth at night. It's just been a stressful half year. When I was in Colorado I had some time just to be alone, not really even with the Lord, just alone. It was good. It was healthy. But when I got back home I started to realize how ridiculous my stress was to the Lord and to me. There's no reason for it. Absolutely no reason for it. It is all, completely, 100% self-imposed. This is where I am an idiot. I beat myself up. I expect entirely too much too soon. It's very unhealthy.

I started looking at all of God's blessings that surround me...

I am so grateful for my relationship with the Lord. I feel like we've come a long ways in the past two years. I hope it only continues on this path for the rest of my life.

Words cannot express the depth of love I feel for my wife. It gets harder and harder to describe how I feel about her every year. She is the greatest gift the Lord has ever allowed me to enjoy. She inspires me. She protects me. She encourages me more than any person in my life. She is the most incredible mother. I am blessed.

My children. 10 years ago I never could have imagined that this is what my life would look like. Each of my children is responsible for taking me to a new level with the Lord, as a man, as a father, as a husband. They truly enrich my everyday life. They are the best responsibility I have ever been given. I am overwhelmed with love and pride for Rylie, Tyler and Preston.

Our jobs. Holly has been with Pat for over ten years now and I have been with Gateway for over 7. Holly and I say all of the time that we never imagined this is what life would look like at 40, let alone 30. We are blessed beyond finances. I have front row seat to one of the fastest growing churches/church staffs in the country. I have favor with those above me. I have an opportunity to learn at an accelerated pace by watching Pastor Robert do what would take me 10 times as long to learn on my own. God has me in a great place. Holly has a job where she can work at a sustainable pace while she takes care of our kids all day. I am amazed that she continues to keep on keeping on. She has unbelievable favor with her boss...UNBELIEVABLE.

Our friends. We are surrounded by people that we love and who love us. They carry a burden for us. They walk with us. They grow with us. Life would not be the same without those that we love whom we call friends.

I am blessed. I will celebrate not sulk. I will give thanks not gripes. I will seek peace not stress. I choose to look at my life and all that comes with it and rest in the fact that God's hand is on my life and that he has it all figured out. I will follow His plan and not make my own. I will obey and not rebel. I am at peace...for the first time in quite some time...and it feels great.

In It's Time

When you're tired, it's time to rest.
When you're full of energy, it's time to move quickly.
When your kids miss you, it's time to stay home.
When you're confident, it's time to test yourself.
When you're afraid, it's time to trust the Lord.
When you're lethargic, it's time to eat.
When you know the answer, it's time to be quiet.
When you're in a bad mood, it's time to be alone.
When you win, it's time to let your game do the talking.
When you're Dennis Franchione, it's time to fire yourself.
When your wife says she likes something, it's time to surprise her.
When you can afford it, it's time to pray about it.
When you want to run from it, it's time to face up to it.
When you're not good at it, it's time to practice it.
When you mess it up, it's time to admit it.
When you're an Aggie fan, it's time to find a new team.

You're My Daddy

I was thinking about people who get saved but spend years saying that their not sure if they are really saved.

If one of my kids woke up every morning of their life and asked me if I was their daddy, how would I feel? What would my response be?

I would be hurt after awhile. But I would do everything I could to prove they were mine. But this would not happen. Why? Because my children have accepted the fact that they are mine. They don't look to disprove it. They accept it. Why? Because I'm their daddy.

I wish people would not allow the enemy to confuse them into thinking they never got saved. It's not as hard as we make it and that's part of the problem...people think that if it's not difficult that it didn't work. Nope. Grace is free. Can't even be afforded. Don't try, just receive.

Even Quicker Hits

If you never had any questions, God couldn’t give the answers.
If there was never any distress, there could be no deliverance.

Quick Hits

In the mood for a few quick hits...

I am still the unchallenged ultimate man. (Read earlier posts)

Tough week for the Aggies this week.

Fire Fran.

Golf is not a priority right now. That happened fast. I just don't care that much right now.

Holly and I are playing golf on Sunday. She loves the country club vibe.

Ran 3/4 of a mile in at a 6 min/mile pace. Ran 2 1/2 miles in 20 minutes.

My knees aren't hurting. Very cool.

Took Rylie and Tyler to the jumphouse today. Tyler wasn't to keen on it. Rylie...all in.

My two favorite football teams play this week...Da Bears.

Three numbers, two words, one man...156, opening weekend, me.

Holly is officially a runner. New shoes, new iPod, Nike+ kit. She's run 7 times in 5 days. Run Forest Run.

Tension

I love the word tension. Not in the sense that you might first be thinking. Not in the sense of being nervous or feeling awkward. When I think about tension I think about healthy balance. Here are a few healthy tensions I think about most.

Enjoying my money and stewarding my money.
Be passionate about my job and being passionate about going home.
Loving food and loving fitness.
Pleasing people and honoring God.
Getting somewhere fast and abiding by the law.
Loving to watch deer in the wild and loving to eat deer jerky.
Loving life and losing it.

There are so many healthy tensions in life. Tension is everywhere. Balance is not always a strength of mine but the Lord is helping me get there. Typically I am an "all or nothing" kind of guy which can lead to the unhealthy tightrope of imbalance.

On a totally unrelated note, is it bad that when I look at the word tension on my computer screen that it looks like the word venison? We must be a week away from deer season.

Today's Realization

On most days at some point throughout my day I have some type of "epiphany" moment about some area of my life. Some days the revelation is greater than others and some days it's just a subtle little hint.

Today, there was a pretty strong revelation about myself...

I am too hard on myself. I always have been. It is a problem that needs to be corrected.

But it helps when someone around me points it out. Why? Because if they didn't I would just keep doing it. I have done it for so long that it just seems natural. It almost seems unfaithful to not do it. What a mess. What disillusionment. What an idiot. There I go again.

I am grateful for the people around/above me that are invested in my life that help me steer this ship called my life. This puppy would crash without the help.

So here are the two words for me today..."Lighten up".

Ah the liberation. I can feel it already.

Sweet Spot Pondering

There is definitely something to be said about being in the sweet spot. Don't know what the sweet spot means...here you go. Sweet spot is a golf term that talks about a spot on the golf club where if you hit it right flush in that spot the ball will travel further with less effort. The ball just flies off the clubface.

In life I think this principle applies just as much. I do believe there is a spot where if we live right in that spot we will go further, do more, while it costs us less and uses less energy. It is possible. But where is it?

There is no uniform sweet spot for all of us. We each have a different sweet spot. I want to live there. I want to dwell there. I want to never get far from there.

The great thing about the newest and latest drivers is with every new round of them the sweet spot gets bigger and bigger. In the same way the longer we walk intimately with the Lord the greater the size of the sweet spot for our lives.

With God the sweet spot is less about trying and more about showing up. So show up.

Ecclesiastes 7:13

Read a good scripture this morning.

Ecclesiastes 7:13
"Notice the way God does things; then fall into line. Don't fight the ways of God, for who can make straight what he has made crooked?"

Great verse. Here's what stands out.

Notice: I have to be attentive to God's way. I need to be watching not just participating.

Then: I can't get so caught up in trying to learn his ways that I make that my excuse for not standing in line. Submission, submission, submission.

Don't fight: no point. Why try? It only wastes my energy.

Crooked: Interesting concept. Does God make things crooked? Does He do it for a reason? Is there something He is getting at that requires a less than straight way to get there? Of course. Straight lines don't produce the same type of fruit that curvy lines do. Don't fight it.

Private Education

I don't know if you have any reason to be researching the cost of a private education for a kindergartner but since I have I will enlighten you.

The average cost of private schools in the dfw area for Rylie to attend kindergarten is about $6,000 for one year. That's half of what I paid for one year of college. Does that seem crazy or is it just me? I don't know. Maybe it is well worth it. I am still navigating these waters but with many questions.

Do I want my kids to be in christian school for their formative learning years up to jr. high?

Do I want my kids to be in public school k-5 where it may be safer than jr. and sr. high and then put them in christian school?

Who knows. I'm not sure yet. But I have to begin checking what all is out there for Rylie and the boys.

Just have to keep praying about it.

You Have No Idea

I have a new theory. If you are the loudest one in the room, the one who is the first to start talking about something, the one who butts in when someone else is talking, the one who says "I know" all of the time, you most likely know the least about what is going on. If you are the most quiet, the least opinionated, you just may be the one in the room who knows the most about what is going on.

So, if you feel the need to blurt out how much you know or that you were the first to know, remember you are proving your ignorance. Keep it to yourself.

Ask yourself this...who do you trust more: a blurter of information or a keeper of information? Ask yourself this...who would you rather be?

I want the Lord to be able to trust me with the business of his kingdom. I am learning to be quiet.

The Greatest Job on Earth

This has been a great weekend with my kids. There have been lots of monents over the last few days where I was overwhelmed with what an awesome responsibility being a father is. We ended the weekend with the building of a sweet gingerbread house. Let's just say that it looked more like the Griswald Family Christmas Tree...thata girl Rylie...25,000 inported Italian white twinkling lights.

Opening weekend is t minus 13 days.

Holly and I are watching Anchorman right now. I usually enjoy stupid movies but this one has to be one of the dumbest of all time.

Fantasy team got killed this weekend. That's what happens when I rely on someone else to play the games instead of doing it myself.

Stay classy America.

Rylie and The Lease

Took Rylie to the deer lease this weekend. It was an incredible weekend together. We shot a rabbit and she held the thing without hesitation. I spent most of the weekend riding around the highrack with her thinking how I have dreamt of taking my kids to the lease with me. It truly was a dream weekend with her. Two weeks till opening weekend. Monster buck here I come.

This is Chilling

If the events of 9/11 are too much for you to handle do not watch this video. This video is a chilling reminder of what really happened.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE9TLgCVLBM

Sad does not even come close to describing it.

Tough Question

What is the most important focus in life?

Is it family? Is it employment? Is it people? Is it church? Is it stewardship? What is it?

I think the answer is God's kingdom. I know this sounds general and slightly cheesy but it is a truth that is undeniable.

"Seek first the...wait for it...KINGDOM OF GOD." (Matthew 6:33)

I lose sight of this sometimes but lately I am seeing family, employment, church, stewardship through the context of God's kingdom.

Funny thing happens though when you see everything through the filter of God's kingdom...you see everything differently.

I didn't always understand this but I have been watching it for nearly 30 years now. God's kingdom is at the top of the list...it has to be. Everything get's out of wack when we don't see it that way. Everything get's grey. Everything get's blurry.

Tired

I'm wiped out. This day started at 3am this morning and will end after midnight. I'm toast.

Great to see my kids and wife today. Tyler was really excited to see me. It's cool to see how they start missing you when you're gone around this age. My kids are a gift from the Lord. Holly is the partner of my dreams.

6 years ago today I was wondering how we would go forward from the attacks. It was a day that changed many lives. I can't imagine the hurt and pain the families felt and still may be feeling. Cowards. That's who flies a plane into a building...an absolute moran. It's evil pure and simple. That day was absolutely horrific. I pray it never ever happens again.

Pray for the families effected by the September 11 attacks. Can you remember several thousand family members posting the missing flyers hoping their loved ones would come home. I don't even want to think about it. It hurts too much. I wnat to think about all of the people who dropped what they were doing and drove to New York to help in whatever way theu could. I want to think about those who picked up a burden for our freedom and immediately enlisted to fight for my freedom. I'll think about that...not the evil that started it.

What a country. What freedom. What a blessing.

Curveballs

How do you handle changes of plan? What is your response when you were planning on one thing and something else happens? Usually I don't do very well. I get frustrated. I think I'm doing better though as I add years to my life. Yesterday my flight was cancelled due to weather and I had to stay in Colorado Springs for the night. If you have been reading this blog recently you know that I am in stewardship mode so when I tell you that I stayed at a Motel 6 last night where I locked the door and locked and loaded you won't be surprised. I spent $100 bucks in 4 days (counting the stupid $22 tax for my rental car) and when I found out I was going to be forced to stay another night at my expense I was determined to go low. $33 for the minivan, $10.50 for mandatory fuel fee under 75 miles driven, $9 for dinner at Fazoli's, $5.75 to see Transformers (more about this later) and a whopping $40.45 for the bedbug offering, "well used", no wifi Motel 6. I spent $100 in 4 days and then had to spend that much in a day...gross. Surprisingly enough I wasn't upset. Even Holly noticed and made a comment about it. Maybe, just maybe I am making some progress.

Alright enough about that stuff. Transformers. Spectacular. I'm a dork I know but I used to love Transformers when I was a kid. I had three different Optimus Prime trucks. I loved it. The movie really was pretty cool.

I won my fantasy game this week. It was close. Came down to the last 3 minutes of the last game. Good start. Addai for President.

It has been a great weekend here but I'm ready to get home...hopefully my plane boards in 20 minutes like it is supposed to.

Called It

Apple just announced they sold the millionth iPhone. They'll sell another million by Christmas. Stock is surging. Here we go.

In unrelated news...

Thanks to the weather in Dallas I may not get out of the Springs tonight. Great.

This Weekend

This weekend class was in session. I'll spend a long, long time processing with the Lord, talking with the Lord, asking of the Lord, everything I have learned and witnessed this weekend. Words don't do what God teaches justice. God is gracious. Glad I'm heading home to see my incredible wife and my beautiful children. What a weekend. New Life is a great church and God is no doubt doing something here.

Seeing Brady Set In

Quick Thoughts...

I don't like Starbucks anymore...it's a fad...their coffee stinks. Can anyone say Bon Giorno?

There's no one I'd rather be than me. What a seat I get to sit in.

Authority is God's design. Submission is His plan.

Ross is the real deal. He's built an incredible team.

Submitting to God's process will always beat out creating your own. Brady did this well for seven years.

It is God how New Life has accepted Brady. Amazing to watch.

There's real, there's fake, there's try, and there's do. Brady has stepped into a whole new anointing. He's not having to try...God is doing it...this is what it should look like.

Our elders have handled this incredibly. Authority I gladly submit to.

God's kingdom is very, very big.

God is alive and unfathomably active.

Take It For Granted

So I have spent nearly 10 hours at Panera in the last 36 hours and I just realized something about myself.

Between the ages of 15 and 21 I held jobs as a driving range ball-picker-upper/mower/register boy, busboy at a Mexican resturant, weightroom monitor, overnight security guard for an apartment complex (this was absolutely the most idiotic decision I have ever made...$8/hour...work all night...quit after 3 weeks when I heard a gunshot...horrible neighborhood...Phoenix equivalent of South Dallas...yes I am an idiot), campus security (top 3 best jobs...lots of overtime worked here), valet and bellman at the Arizona Biltmore, church youth intern.

I remember working in college at different places and when I was not busy doing something my mind would drift off to my dream of one day being paid to study the word, preach, minister to people. I thought of it often in those days. Even at the Biltmore where it was a spectacular job I would still get frustrated about not being in ministry. I sometimes forget what it was like to not be in ministry. After 7 years I have spent more time in ministry than I did working outside of it. As I watch the people working here change out the trash, get reprimanded by their manager, get short with customers, I am reminded of how miserable I was.

I am grateful. I have an incredible job. In my twenties it is a dream job. I get paid generously. I get paid to study, to preach, to walk with people and minister to them. This is the job I always dreamt of. Full-time ministry is a gift. I forget that sometimes.

Thank you Lord.

Isn't This What Church Is?

I just ran across something on the net. It's a coffee place in Kirkland, Washington. Wow, a coffee place close to Seattle, Pres you came up with a huge discovery. Curb the sacrasm shorty. There's something different about this little "coffee place".

Terra Bite Lounge is a "voluntary payment" cafe. That's right if you don't want to pay you don't have to. In fact on their website they make this statement "We also cheerfully serve those who cannot pay, in a non-stigmatizing customer setting, with no political or religious message, and with full-time availability."

The owner of Terra Bite says this about why they do voluntary payment "Terra Bite is not only an experiment into the level of public honesty, it is also a visible demonstration of that high level of honesty."

Interesting concept for a business. They don't make a killing, they just break even. But it's not because they can't turn a profit. It's because they choose to share the profit with the baristas. Wow.

I know this seemed to be a great social study on the level of honesty but this little business model has been employed by the church for centuries. That's why less than a third of the church tithes...because no one will know if they don't.

Cool way to prove a point though for Terra Bite.

Altitude

I had every intention of taking a little jog this morning. I thought I'd do just a little something nothing outrageous...a little 5k.

How about a little .5m? The altitude is a beast. It was so bad my teeth started hurting. I know, I'm a weenie, it's okay. I'm serious, I felt like I couldn't even make it a mile. It turned in to a sightseeing stroll in the Garden of the Gods. It is beautiful up there.

I'm sure there was a great post somewhere about preparation or climitization or something profound like that but I was hurting too bad to think that deep. So here it is...altitude stinks.

The sad thing was I was thinking about running in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure tomorrow morning before church. It's just a 5k but it goes through the Garden of the Gods. I thought it would be a nice stroll. Well, after this morning...nice stroll my behind. It would take me 35 minutes to finish a 5k in this altitude. I'm officially withdrawing from the race without ever registering.

Have I mentioned that altitude stinks.

theMill and more

Just got back from New Life's young adults group. Enjoyed it. They've got to be one of the largest young adults groups in the country. Not too many differences between theMill and Seven other than attendance, for now. They go about twice as long as we do but it's a little different feel so it seems to reach their audience just fine. Worship about 6 songs and 45 minutes. Message about 20 Scripture passages and an hour long. I like Aaron's style...easy delivery easy to receive. He reads Scriptures from his cell phone...it worked. Seeing them in their room actually made me look forward to us getting into ours. Atmosphere is huge. I have spent the last 6 months since we have been down in the sanctuary convincing myself that atmosphere really doesn't matter...wrong, for this generation it completely matters. I really wasn't there to critique, just wanted to maybe learn something and be inspired. After their service I am. They do a lot of great stuff and will no doubt continue to reach many of my generation in this area. I'll be praying for them.

Miss my wife, miss my kids. It's been great studying today. Spent about 4 hours at Panera studying...had a blast, got on a roll.

Got some great one-liners for the series in 6 weeks. Lot of great scripture. Can't wait for this one.