I Am the Ultimate Man

Last night was the beginning of a yearlong competition that will truly test 8 men to find out who among them is the most well-rounded man, it is...The Ultimate Man Championship. This competition was created to test a man in every area of his life...basketball, poker, football, skee-ball, bowling, pool, track, go-karts, putt-putt, darts, nintendo wii...you know, every area of a man's life.

Well last night was the beginning of the competition. The ($300) trophy was unveiled with the most ceremonial of processions. In fact, it took 6 men carrying it in on their shoulders and required a sacrifice every five feet. Last night the competition began with Texas Hold-em No-Limit Poker and a Nintendo Wii home run contest.

I'll spare you the specifics (it was viscious) but it just so happens that I was victorious in both competitions last night. So, as I've been trying to tell my wife for the last nearly ten years, I am the Ultimate Man. Finally, there is a contest to prove it. Don't even try to rain on my parade saying that no true Ultimate Man contest would involve a sissy video game competition. You just keep that to yourself. Why?

Because until someone dethrones me...I am the ULTIMATE MAN.