Steward

I have been a little overwhelmed recently about the issue of stewardship. The Lord has blessed Holly and I in an incredible way financially...but why? What are we to do with it? Invest in our future? Our children's future? His kingdom? Stuff? I have noticed that since we found out that Holly's mom has cancer that we are "over celebrating" God's provision by spending money on all kinds of stuff.

When Holly is hurting the way that she is I tend to become overly extravagant with the "showering of gifts". I hate to see her hurt and I love to see her have more than she wants. She doesn't ask for it. She doesn't even expect it. And I do it anyways. But lately I have been feeling the weight of going overboard. No debt just nothing left to show for the paycheck. Less giving though to God's kingdom (just saying that makes me sick to my stomach).

But it raised some questions between me and the Lord. What is the point of money? What is the point of my possessions? Why do I drive what I drive? Why do I buy what I buy?

Tough questions.

What is the point of money?
Provision for family. Provision for the kingdom. Provision for the future. Helping people.

What is the point of my possessions?
Enjoyment? Honoring God? I'm actually not sure what the point is for sure. I know the Lord wants me to enjoy the fruits of my labor to a point.

Why do I drive what I drive?
Tough one here. If I boil right down to it...I think the answer is pride. I don't have to drive what I drive. So why do I? Because I can? That's not good if that's the reason. After driving Holly's grandmothers 12 year old Cadillac I realized I may drive what I drive because I'm too proud/insecure/shallow/whatever you want to call it. It's just a dumb car...nothing to get an identity over.

Why do I buy what I buy?
Is it mammon? Sometimes. Is it because I can? Sometimes. Is there a purpose for everything I buy? Sometimes. Is there always a need? Sometimes.

Listen. I am not saying a person has to take a vow of poverty to be a part of God's kingdom. I am saying though that what I have is not mine. I didn't get it and I don't get to keep it. For Holly and I we feel that the Lord has given us a great opportunity to advance God's kingdom financially...to give. We don't feel like we are supposed to be amassing more assets for consumption...to keep. We feel that what got us here was giving extravagantly and saving efficiently. We need to back to that place.

I desperately want to advance God's kingdom with my hands, my gifts...and my resources. It's who He made me to be.

I'm not an owner of the business or the profits...I'm just a steward till the owner gets back.