This Is Gonna Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You

Have you ever heard that before? If your parents ever spanked you your answer is probably yes. I heard it. I can't remember how many times or when but I remember hearing it. My first thought whenever I heard my dad say that was "okay, I'd love to make it easy on you, let me spank you". To a child "this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you" makes no sense and almost seems like a show-up. Nothing could be further from the truth.

We are still in California with Holly's parents with the rest of Holly's family...EVERYBODY. All of my nephews and nieces are here and have been together for the last 9 days. Typically my kids are well-behaved but when we get around family or other kids for this long, as many kids do, they get a little too comfortable with doing things their own way. I have been dealing with it when it comes up but I have been noticing that one of my kids has been having some trouble obeying. Last night it reached a breaking point. And that usually means a spanking.

For some reason last night this one hurt me more than it hurt her. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would say that. "This is gonna hurt me" is one of things you promise yourself when you're 12 that you'll never say to your kids "when I grow up". It's not something you just say...it is without a doubt something you feel. It hurts to correct your children. It really hurts. Them and you.

But last night as I was talking to them about the reason for punishment I was getting sick to my stomach. It was excruciating. Everything in me wanted to just give out a kitchen pass and say don't ever let it happen again. But I can't. Correction is God's way of doing things. But that doesn't make it any easier. In fact it makes it more difficult. I was telling the Lord the whole time that I didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to.

I did.

And afterwards, as always, I felt much better. I always feel better once it's over. Not just because it's over though. I always feel better afterwards because after a spanking we always have some pretty intense "love" time. I always pick them up and hold them, tell them how much I love them, how special they are to me, how much I hate to have to spank, and sometimes I have even cried with them.

But this what daddies do. Mine did it with me. It is largely responsible for helping shape who I am (spiritually and physically...get it? The "board of cleansing" shaped who I am. Never mind.) I know it hurt my parents to have to spank, I just never knew it was this much.

So as the pain of having to discipline was overwhelming me last night I asked the Lord a few questions.

"Is this how you feel when you have to correct me?"

"Worse."

"What was worse...dying for me or disciplining me?"

"It's a toss up. It hurts that bad."

"You gotta be kidding me."

"No. Every time I correct one of my kids I go through it. It is excruciating. But it is a righteous process."
"And as you do with your children, I have done for centuries with mine. Some of the most intense "love" times I have had with you Preston are immediately following a time of correction. One of my favorite moments in your life is immediately following when I discipline you and you come humbly back to me. It is a moment I cherish. It is the way I designed it to work. One of the greatest gifts I have given you is your children but as with every gift I give there is a level of responsibility that goes with the gift and this gift is one of your greatest areas of responsibility. Correction is difficult for everyone involved. But it is the path of righteousness. It's one of those difficult but easy decisions that has to be made by every great parent. It's just what daddies do."